The Power of Kindness & Mr. Bill

For the past two years I have had the fortune of swimming laps in the beautiful Roger Carter Community Center. Most mornings I was greeted by an older gentleman. His name is Mr. Bill.

Take Time to Notice

Mr. Bill most often sat at the far seat of the registration desk where I swiped my entry card. Most mornings, Mr. Bill would start with a “good morning, nice to see you.” Sometimes he would ask if I wanted any coffee. If I was gone for more than a week, he noticed and welcomed me back always with a “We missed you. Where have you been?” Mr. Bill had a soft smile and gentle eyes. He didn’t have to greet me the way he did. Others at the front desk rarely said a word. 

Words Impact

Something compelled Mr. Bill to make a point to extend his kindness to greet me.  I hadn’t tracked that I always saw Mr. Bill on a Tuesday or Thursday. My last day at the pool was on a Friday. As I was headed to the pool, I realized I would miss Mr. Bill as much as I’d miss the swimming lanes. I thought I need to tell him what a positive impact he’s had. He wasn’t there. This led to me asking for Mr. Bill’s name so I could return later with a card for him. Until now, I’d never known his name. I don’t know if we ever introduced ourselves. 

I’m Sorry

On my last day of swimming, most of the lanes only had 1 person. This was often the case in this pool. Here swimmers parallel swim most of the time. I joined a lane and off I went, Within the first 200 yards, my had accidentally collided with another swimmer’s hand. We both stopped immediately. I felt her glaring at me. I immediately said, “I’m sorry.” She turned. I turned. Off we went. During my first break between sets, the swimmer who was now out of the pool said, “you know you bruised me” and waved her hand in my direction. I looked. I did see a mark. Her hands also showed the signs of age. I said, “I am so sorry.” “Well, I just wanted you to know. It felt like a brick” Again I said, “I see that and I’m very sorry. It was an accident.” She turned and walked away. I began my second set. 

It’s OK to move on

At the end of the second set the swimmer who took her place in the lane next to me said “Hey what did that woman say to you earlier?” I told her and I said “I’m going to feel badly about this for a little while because I am sad that I hurt someone, even if it was unintentional and I can’t undo it.  I was also going to move on knowing I was in alignment with my values. Accidents happen. Sincere apologies matter and often are all that we can offer. The new neighbor swimming shared her agreement with my response and made a comment about all in this together and it’s a risk we all take in shared spaces. 

Kindness if Powerful

I found it very ironic that this incident occurred on this last day at the pool. This stranger in the pool took time to notice that some tense exchange had occurred and chose to extend her concern to me. She didn’t have to. Her words or empathy and compassion were soothing. Similarly, Mr. Bill took the time to notice and made a choice to consistently extend his kindness.  I doubt I am the only one that benefitted from Mr. Bill’s greetings. I hope I’m not. As I reflect, I am struck by the impact of these simple acts of kindness. Thank you, Mr. Bill. 

If you need support to be kinder to yourself or to process whatever might be getting in the way of being kinder to others, Contact Us. Kindness is healing to give and to receive.