THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

The other day during one of our group clinical supervision meetings, we were discussing how to support clients to accept themselves and/or their partners' or families' limitations or flaws. We believe we are all imperfect humans. Our Senior Associate Shelby Remillard, who specializes in grief, suggested we encourage forgiveness rather than acceptance.

FORGIVENESS and/or ACCEPTANCE? 

We discussed how the act of forgiving feels more active and empowering. We identified that acceptance could feel violating and dismissing, especially in the systemic context. Shelby pointed out how forgiveness brings people together, whereas acceptance can separate.

HAPPY PRIDE - CHOOSING FORGIVENESS

During this month of QUEER PRIDE, I am going to choose to forgive the those who continue to promote, encourage, and allow bigotry, homophobia and transphobia. I am going to choose to forgive that for various reasons some people need to create an enemy out of what they may not understand or agree with.  We queers are often framed as a threat. The goal is to induce fear and a fear response.

I GET TO CHOOSE

I choose to accept that I as a psychotherapist I have a moral obligation to do what I can to offer the option of forgiveness to my clients when they are seeking relief from the harms done to them by others. I believe this frees of the role of the victim.  We can choose to determine our own path of claiming ourselves as valuable and valued, loveable and loved.

BOUNDARIES

Clear and firm boundaries are needed. It takes time to identify and practice healthy boundaries that support your heart to stay open while also shielding it from the pain. It is painful to be repeatedly pierced by the daggers of hate speech and disparaging references. We must allow time to heal.

If you need help support to explore what forgiveness and acceptance look like for you, contact us.