Holding Grief and Gratitude

In a few weeks my family will be moving again. We moved in 2021. I feel incredibly positive and excited for all that this move opens for each of us. I am also deeply sad to be leaving.  This was a home and space that became an experience of peace that I had not experienced in so long, I forgot what it felt like. I was terrified and angry at the prospect of losing it.

As I prepared myself for this transition, I reviewed all that this home had provided for me over the past several years. As I did, I became struck by the daily experiences or opportunities that now felt crucial to my life that previously I barely noticed.  I allowed myself to feel some excitement about how I could hold onto these elements no matter where my life resides. I felt appreciative of knowing something about myself that previously I didn’t know. I felt grateful for the various forces that motivated our move out of New York City so I could have this experience I wasn’t aware I needed.

My steps for holding Grief and Gratitude

Allow the full range of feelings

I only get to the feel appreciation and gift of something if I allow myself to feel the sadness and anger I feel even when it is my choice to give it up

Review the Gifts

Take time to reminisce about the positive experiences that you want to carry around in your backpack of memories

Check in with my Values

The positive impact for my family outweighed the loss of the sanctuary I created. I know I can recreate a sanctuary and now with more knowledge of myself and my relationship to it. My value to prioritize the whole over the individual was an important guide in this process.

Sharing is Caring

This transition was going to be disruptive. To move through it, I needed permission to be a bit unsettled or unpredictable because that’s exactly what was occurring around me. I shared with my trusted people that I was grappling with both sides of this coin. They then check in on me or give me some grace when my behavior reflects what can feel like chaos around me.

Every time we step forward, we are leaving something behind.  I have found that moving forward is easier, when I allow myself to carry my gratitude and my grief until I’m ready to put the grief down. Welcoming the gratitude releases the grip of my grief.  If you need support to navigate a loss or life transition, please ccontact us.